he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
