then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
