Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
