shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
