I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
