First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
