We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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