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Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
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