She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
