I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
