i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize