I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Ladies don't puke and tell
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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