Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
