Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
