i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
bring money and cleavage
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
