Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
