he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
