Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
