I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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