Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
we made out on top of his cat.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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