so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i think i have two assholes
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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