we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
