When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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