I don't usually arrange sex via text message
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.