It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
