I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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