get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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