my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
