Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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