yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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