Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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