Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
