Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Two words: blizzard sex
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
