so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My life is pants optional.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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