I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
