I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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