To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
