and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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