I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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