idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
