she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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