thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
