I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
