it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
