miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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