I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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