i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
