Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
