covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Someone signed my nipple.
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