Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
