I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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