my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You're like the curious george of whores
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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