You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
