Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
