In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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