My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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