I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
