that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
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i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
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His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
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