i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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