Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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