Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
