If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
