I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
