So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I looked at my own cervix.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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