So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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