party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
